NOBLE AND ADMIRABLE FRIENDSHIP – ‘KALYANA MITTA’

I want you to read this again and again until you fully comprehend.

“And what is meant by admirable friendship?” the Buddha taught…

“There is the case where a lay person, in whatever town or village he may dwell, spends time with the people, who are advanced in virtue.

He talks with them, engages them in discussions.

He equals consummate conviction in those who are consummate in conviction, consummate virtue in those who are consummate in virtue, consummate generosity in those who are consummate in generosity, and consummate discernment in those who are consummate in discernment.

This is called noble and admirable friendship.”

Hope you have understood this great teaching by the Buddha which is universal.

 

“With regard to external factors, I don’t envision any other single factor like friendship with admirable people as doing so much for a monk in training, who has not attained the heart’s goal but remains intent on the unsurpassed safety from bondage. A monk who is a friend with admirable people abandons what is unskillful and develops what is skillful” the Buddha has taught.

“These four should be understood as warm-hearted friends:

The friend who is a helpmate,

the friend in happiness and woe,

the friend who gives good counsel,

the friend who sympathizes too —

 

these four as friends the wise behold and cherish them devotedly as does a mother her own child” the Buddha taught.

“These four should be understood as foes in the guise of friends: he who appropriates a friend’s possessions, he who renders lip-service, he who flatters, he who brings ruin…

The friend who appropriates,

the friend who renders lip-service,

the friend that flatters,

the friend who brings ruin,

 

these four as enemies the wise behold, avoid them from afar as paths of peril…

 

A prerequisite for Awakening

“If wanderers who are members of other sects should ask you, ‘What, friend, are the prerequisites for the development of the wings to self-awakening?’ you should answer, ‘There is the case where a monk has admirable people as friends, companions and colleagues. This is the first prerequisite for the development of the wings to self-awakening.'”

 

The whole of the holy life

Venerable Ananda Thero said to the Buddha,

“This is half of the holy life: admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie.”

“Don’t say that, Ananda. Don’t say that. Admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie is actually the whole of the holy life.

When a monk has admirable people as friends, companions, and colleagues, he can be expected to develop and pursue the noble eightfold path” said the Buddha.

“And how does a monk who has admirable people as friends, companions, & colleagues, develop and pursue the noble eightfold path?

There is the case where a monk develops right view dependent on seclusion, dependent on dispassion, dependent on cessation, resulting in relinquishment. He develops right resolve…right speech…right action…right livelihood…right effort…right mindfulness…right concentration dependent on seclusion, dependent on dispassion, dependent on cessation, resulting in relinquishment.

This is how a monk who has admirable people as friends, companions and colleagues, develops and pursues the noble eightfold path.”

“And through this line of reasoning one may know how admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie is actually the whole of the holy life: It is in dependence on me as an admirable friend that beings subject to birth have gained release from birth, that beings subject to aging have gained release from aging, that beings subject to death have gained release from death, that beings subject to sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress and despair have gained release from sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress and despair. It is through this line of reasoning that one may know how having admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie is actually the whole of the holy life.”

The benefits of admirable friendship

“When a monk has admirable people as friends, companions, and colleagues, it is to be expected that he will be virtuous, will dwell restrained in accordance with the Patimokkha, consummate in his behavior and sphere of activity, and will train himself, having undertaken the training rules, seeing danger in the slightest faults.

“When a monk has admirable people as friends, companions, and colleagues, it is to be expected that he will get to hear at will, easily and without difficulty, talk that is truly sobering and conducive to the opening of awareness, i.e., talk on modesty, on contentment, on seclusion, on non-entanglement, on arousing persistence, on virtue, on concentration, on discernment, on release, and on the knowledge and vision of release.”

“When a monk has admirable people as friends, companions, and colleagues, it is to be expected that he will keep his persistence aroused for abandoning unskillful qualities, and for taking on skillful qualities — steadfast, solid in his effort, not shirking his duties with regard to skillful qualities.”

 

“When a monk has admirable people as friends, companions, and colleagues, it is to be expected that he will be discerning, endowed with discernment of arising and passing away — noble, penetrating, leading to the right ending of stress.”

 

Once, the Buddha explained to Venerable Ananda the qualities of a Dhamma teacher..

“It’s not easy to teach the Dhamma to others, Ananda. The Dhamma should be taught to others only when five qualities are established within the person teaching. Which five?

 

“The first one is: The Dhamma should be taught with the thought, ‘I will speak step-by-step.’

 

“The second one is: The Dhamma should be taught with the thought, ‘I will speak explaining the sequence of cause and effect.’

 

“The third one is: The Dhamma should be taught with the thought, ‘I will speak out of compassion.’

 

“The fourth one is: The Dhamma should be taught with the thought, ‘I will speak not for the purpose of material reward.’

 

“The fifth one is: The Dhamma should be taught with the thought, ‘I will speak without disparaging myself or others.’

 

“It’s not easy to teach the Dhamma to others, Ananda. The Dhamma should be taught to others only when these five qualities are established within the person teaching” the Buddha said.

Keeping company with the wise:

It’s good to see noble ones.

Happy their company — always.

By not seeing fools

constantly, constantly one would be happy…

 

For, living with a fool,

one grieves a long time.

Painful is communion with fools,

as with an enemy always..

 

Happy is communion

with the enlightened,

as with a gathering of kin.

So, the enlightened man-

discerning, learned, enduring, dutiful, noble, intelligent

– a man of integrity:

follow him, one of this sort

as the moon,

the path of the zodiac stars.

Never with an evil companion

I’m blind,

my eyes are destroyed.

I’ve stumbled

on a wilderness track.

Even if I must crawl,

I’ll go on,

but not with an evil companion!

 

Created for Satipatthana.net by Bhikkhu Dhanasupho