76. Fondling is the state of the act of fondling. [28] For when a man fondles children on his lap or on his shoulder like a nurse—he nurses, is the meaning—that fondler’s act is the act of fondling. The state of the act of fondling is fondling.
77. In the description of hinting (nemittikatá): a sign (nimitta) is any bodily or verbal act that gets others to give requisites. Giving a sign is making a sign such as “What have you got to eat?”, etc., on seeing [people] going along with food. Indication is talk that alludes to requisites. Giving indication: on seeing cowboys, he asks, “Are these milk cows’ calves or buttermilk cows’ calves?” and when it is said, “They are milk cows’ calves, venerable sir,” [he remarks] “They are not milk cows’ calves. If they were milk cows’ calves the bhikkhus would be getting milk,” etc.; and his getting it to the knowledge of the boys’ parents in this way, and so making them give milk, is giving indication.
78. Indirect talk is talk that keeps near [to the subject]. And here there should be told the story of the bhikkhu supported by a family. A bhikkhu, it seems, who was supported by a family went into the house wanting to eat and sat down. The mistress of the house was unwilling to give. On seeing him she said, “There is no rice,” and she went to a neighbour’s house as though to get rice. The bhikkhu went into the storeroom. Looking round, he saw sugarcane in the corner behind the door, sugar in a bowl, a string of salt fish in a basket, rice in a jar, and ghee in a pot. He came out and sat down. When the housewife came back, she said, “I did not get any rice.” The bhikkhu said, “Lay follower, I saw a sign just now that alms will not be easy to get today.”—“What, venerable sir?”— I saw a snake that was like sugarcane put in the corner behind the door; looking for something to hit it with, I saw a stone like a lump of sugar in a bowl. When the snake had been hit with the clod, it spread out a hood like a string of salt fish in a basket, and its teeth as it tried to bite the clod were like rice grains in a jar. Then the saliva mixed with poison that came out to its mouth in its fury was like ghee put in a pot.” She thought, “There is no hoodwinking the shaveling,” so she gave him the sugarcane and she cooked the rice and gave it all to him with the ghee, the sugar and the fish.
79. Such talk that keeps near [to the subject] should be understood as indirect talk. Roundabout talk is talking round and round [the subject] as much as is allowed.
80. In the description of belittling: abusing is abusing by means of the ten instances of abuse. Disparaging is contemptuous talk. Reproaching is enumeration of faults such as “He is faithless, he is an unbeliever.” Snubbing is taking up verbally thus “Don’t say that here.” Snubbing in all ways, giving grounds and reasons, is continual snubbing. Or alternatively, when someone does not give, taking him up thus, “Oh, the prince of givers!” is snubbing; and the thorough snubbing thus, “A mighty prince of givers!” is continual snubbing. Ridicule is making fun of someone thus, “What sort of a life has this man who eats up his seed [grain]?” Continual ridicule is making fun of him more thoroughly thus, “What, you say this man is not a giver who
always gives the words ‘There is nothing’ to everyone?”
By Bhikkhu Ñānamoli